The Fat Lady's Greatest Hits and Misses

 

 

At the suggestion of Rex Hunt, another genius idea for a footballinvective.com forum has been put forward, namely:

 

The Fat Lady's Greatest Hits and Misses

 

Footballinvective.com is seeking comments on the most memorable appearances of the proverbial Fat Lady at AFL football games and other sporting contests.

 

For example:
  a.. Famous occassions when she sang.

  b.. The earliest she sang

  c.. The Fat Lady's greatest clangers - when she sung too early or

       shouldn't have sung at all

  d.. When it gave us the greatest thrill to hear her sing, etc, etc.

 

I'll get the ball rolling with a few suggestions of my own:

 

The earliest she ever sang: 

6 minute mark, 1995 Grand Final. (it was all over as soon as Braddles kicked the opening goal)

 

When she shouldn't have sung (half-time): 

It's a fair bet she was singing in the Collingwood rooms at half time in the 1970 Grand Final, and in the streets of Adelaide at half time in the 1993 Prelim Final. Defintely two of her biggest clangers. 

It's a reasonable bet that she also sang when AC Milan went 3-0 up against Liverpool in the European Cup final this year - Clang!

 

Classic fat lady moments: 

When Jarman's fifth sailed through in the final quarter of the 97 Grand Final. Bruce McAvaney's well-known "That'll do! That will do!" commentary pales into insignificance compared to the dulcet tones of the rotund soprano reverberating through throughout the whole of the greatest state in the world (SA).

 

When she shouldn't have sung (final siren):

Round 2, 1993: I bet she was singing when Kernahan took that mark on the siren with scores level only 30 metres out. Little did she know he would spray the kick out on the full.

Round 10, 1976: I reckon she probably sang for Carlton when the siren went, leaving Blighty with the ball 90 metres out.

 

Epic Fat Lady moments:

After the siren, 1994 Preliminary Final: I was behind the goals that day when the hand of God went up with 2 seconds left and The Great Man slammed it through. Just as the deafening roar of Geelong supporters rendered it impossible to hear the siren, the Fat Lady's dulcet tones would have also gone unheard, although never has their been a greater game than this and, as such, never a greater stage for her to grace.

 

Her most satisfying clangers: 

22 minute mark, final quater of the 1997 Prelim Final: when Libba well and truly thought she was singing. Has there ever been a sweeter sight than watching Libba despair as she ate her premature falsetto notes 10 minutes later?

She would have also been singing when Lance Kluesner belted Damian Fleming for two fours off the first two balls of the final over of the 1999 World Cup semi to tie the scores. She then hurriedly shed her South African colours and remounted the stage in Australian 'canary yellow' two balls later when Allan Donald ran himself out. Gold!

 

 

Dale, Vermont South

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Round 12 June 18 1977: the Hawks are playing the Roos....the Hawks are leading by 1 point and as the siren goes Malcolm Blight kicks a point from the goal square to tie the scores and is infringed as he does so. 

 

Controversially, Blighty is offered another kick and Max Ritchie of the Roos brains trust comes out with a comment worthy of a mention on these greatest hits.....he turns to the rest of the Roos coaching box and says "well we will either win it by 5 points or it will be a draw". Moments later, in atrocious conditions, Blighty takes his kick again and proceeds to kick it out on the full, giving the Hawks the win by a point. A great example of it NEVER being over Max until the fat lady has sung!!

 

 

Darren, London

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I believe the Fat Lady was well and truly yodelling as Herschelle Gibbs "caught" Steve Waugh in the 1999 World Cup, only to generously throw the ball away...

 

She was standing on the roof at VFL Park pumping out her finest as Gary
Buckenara's final kick sank the Dees in the '87 Prelim. Wanted to smash her that day.

 

 

Ted, Sydney

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The date - March 2001

The time - Just before lunch on the 3rd day of the 2nd test

The place - Eden Gardens, Kolkata, India.

 

The fat lady opens her dulcet tones a tad too early as Steve Waugh decides to enforce the follow on after leading by 274 runs on the first innings against India, believing that the Indians have no chance in this match.

 

 

Darren, London

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Yep, one of the all-time classics - VVS Laxman gives her 286 reasons to dismount the stage, and bats all through the fourth day with Rahul Dravid, who also chips in with a lazy 177.

 

India 7/657 declared in the second innings. Australia comes out blazing on the last day, then loses 7 wickets in the last session. Gilchrist makes a golden pair, Harbajan Singh takes 13 wickets for the game, the final Australian wicket falls in the second last over of the match, as 100,000 Indians set fire to every paper product in the stadium to celebrate. 

 

Australia's world record winning streak abruptly ends at 16 tests. And two days after she prematurely took the stage wearing the green and gold only to leave in shame, the voluptuous diva returns in triumph, to sing a Wagnerian victory anthem to a billion rapturous sub continental aficionados.

 

Truly incredible - we'll never see another game like it. A once in a century test match.

 

 

Dale, Vermont South

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The earliest the fat lady ever sang was 10 minutes into the 1st quarter Hawthorn v Kangaroos, Round 17 2004 Season.

 

To set the scene:

 

This was the week Schwabby decided to resign as Hawthorn coach ending weeks of speculation, but he foolishly decided to see out the year. Curiously, that came one week after President Ian Dicker guaranteed his tenure as coach in a speech at the President's lunch.

The Kangas slammed through 4 goals in the opening 10 minutes, and when David King slammed through the 5th, the Fat Lady sung. (It was captured for posterity by the diligent sound engineer at 3AW.)

 

The Hawks were never in the hunt as they limped to an 80 point shellacking, in front of a capacity crowd at the MCG of 20,018.

 

Schwabby quit for real a week later.

 

Regards

 

 

Peter, North Melbourne