akermanis  v. To open ones mouth without thought or consideration of the future consequences. eg: "Mark Latham, in his role as Labour leader committed many acts of akermanism which in the end led to his downfall."

 

bourke v. To have a short term complete brain explosion and lose all sense of control. (the French translation is a Zidane or a Cantona). eg: "John Brogden suffered a bourke when he made racist comments and pinched a journalist on the bum in 2005"; "In the second Test between Australia and India in 1979, Rodney Hogg bowled a beamer, kicked down the stumps and stormed off the field after being no-balled 11 times in six overs - it left no doubt in the minds of many that Hogg was a bourkeitis sufferer".

 

colbert v. 1. to brazenly betray an individual, group of people, or institution to whom a duty of loyalty is owed. 2. to breach normal standards of loyalty and fidelity to one's peers. 3. n. the act or deed of colberting ("do a Colbert") (colloq.) 

See also: Great colbertings throughout history

 

C.S.S.W.A.H.O. n. Corporate Spivs, Sponsors' Wives and Associated Hangers-On (acron.) recently-evolved species of football goer, who were first noted by anthropologists at football grounds around 1986. Distinguishing features include a general ignorance of football, indifference to the match result, and propensity for showing-off and conspicuous consumption. Can be found in their natural habitats in glass boxes at most major football grounds, and the Medallion Club at Colon Stadium. Although small in number, they are accorded highest priority by AFL administrators and designers of modern sports stadiums. Estimated to comprise around 1% of the crowd at an average football game, and 75% of the crowd at the Grand Final.

 

davey  v. To move quickly before rapidly disappearing. eg: "the doctor checked his prostrate by daveying a finger up his backside."

 

D.O.B.M. n. Designated Ordinary Big Man (acron.) slow-moving, moderately skilled pseudo forward/pseudo ruckman of over 192 cm in height. See also D. Mensch, S. Alessio, R. Merrett, half the Kangaroos 2006 list.

 

Fat Lady, the [click]

 

F.G.Y. n. Feral Geelong Yobbos (acron.) rare breed of rural-dwelling, lower socio economic male between the ages of 16 and 32. Found in captivity in the furthest reaches of standing room at Unskilled Stadium. Understood to practise a primitive form of pagan religion involving ritual worship of The Great Man and his progeny. 

 

F.R.C.S. n. Former Richmond Coach Syndrome (acron.) rare psychological disorder, closely related to bipolar disorder; usually found in middle-aged men with a history of stress and mental fatigue. Symptoms include extreme disillusionment and occasional paranoia and anti-social tendencies. See also J. Northey, R. Walls, T. Jewell, D. Frawley. Medical text books cite K. Bartlett as the most extreme example of this disease.

 

godfrey n. A pass of unerring accuracy to a member of the opposing side. eg: "George W Bush's unrelenting support for the war in Iraq is a godfrey to the opposing Democrats."

 

Great Man, the [click]

 

hawthornish adj. 1. of or pertaining to the psychological condition of a severely delusional state of mind;  2. the state or condition of being completely detached from reality; “do a Hawthorn” (colloq.)

 

kingsley n. A purchase that looks like it is a good buy until you get it home, start playing with it and realise its total crap. eg: '"that girl I picked up at the Prince of Wales last Friday night turned out to be a complete kingsley."

 

L.W.A. n. Lairising Without Ability (acron.) Speaks for itself. See also: Brisbane Bears 1987-91; Fremantle 1995-98; St Kilda 1980-89

 

malthouse v. the belief that if you talk enough crap, people will forget how rubbish your team is. eg: "I wish Kevin Rudd would come up with some policies and stop malthousing."

 

McAdam n. the phenomena whereby an unknown individual creates a short term masquerade that they will be champions in their chosen field by displaying a vast and exciting array of unsustainable skills at first sight. The repurcussions of experiencing a McAdam can be wide-ranging, from having to pay the removal costs of the masquerading hack's number from your duffle coat, to discombobulated embarrassment amongst your peers after having to finally admit to them that the person you were proclaiming as the next Gary Ablett in reality is just another McAdam. Often confused with a Woewodin (see below), but the difference is that to initiate a McAdam you do actually need to possess some level of skill. Sometimes also known as a Cuthbertson, Charles, Loveless, Marchesani, Hutton, Cook or Dwyer. eg: " By kicking 5 goals on debut for Melbourne Brent Heaver initiated a McAdam. The McAdam he created was so convincing that astonishingly he was able to extend his career by being drafted by another AFL club (Carlton)".

 

wallace v. To boo and chastice a member of your own side or a side that you support. eg: "I regularly wallace my own side as the team is full of godfreys."

 

woewodin n. One who deceivingly misrepresents both their skill level and ability whilst fraudulently collecting accolades. (Sometimes also known as Brian Wilson, or a Collingwood 1990). eg: "The 1990 New Artist Grammy awarded to Milli Vanilli was purely a result of their highly developed woewodinising skills."