Centre
Square - featuring Sam Kekovich
www.centresquare.com.au
Centre
Square Media Release
23
September 2008
Centre
Square is the AFL's unique new match-day experience. World-class hospitality
and a prime seat at the biggest game of the year makes this the ultimate
Grand Final experience for you and your clients.
As
part of its unique array of entertainment, Centre Square enables you to get
up-close and personal with high profile football identities, who will
provide their exclusive insights into the game. This year, Centre Square
is proud to announce that Aussie Rules legend, entertainer and all-round
raconteur 'Slamming' Sam Kekovich will provide the keynote speech prior to
the big match.
A
copy of Mr Kekovich's speech* is included below**
*Embargoed
until 1:00pm, Saturday 27 September
**Check
against delivery.
Sam
Kekovich speech to Centre Square
Grand
Final Day 2008
My
fellow Australians,
I’ve
been invited here to talk to Centre Square, in these big marquees on Punt
Road Oval. And speaking of Punt Road Oval, let me tell you something for
nothing - Jack Dyer would be spinning in his grave if he could see the place
right now. Full of a bunch of Collins Street corporate criminals, Chapel
Street designer cats and Toorak poodle rooters who have about as much
interest in football as Paris Hilton has an interest in astrophysics.
Captain
Blood didn’t break every bone in his body and commit multiple acts of
on-field heroism and homicide so he could see his beloved home ground turned
into an over-priced pre-match party for chardonnay-swilling spivs and their
assorted hangers-on attending their one footy match of the year, whilst tens
of thousands of hard-working honest battlers who love the game and love
their team are denied the chance to attend the greatest game in the world.
I’ve
had a gutful. Whilst this bunch of Armani-wearing, Audi-driving, Prada-carrying
try-hards monopolise priceless vantage points in the MCG, millions of
genuine footy fans who have followed their team through thick and thin have
to make do by watching the game at home or down at the local pub, whilst the
Melbourne spivocracy get to sit on their fat posteriors in a marquee and
wouldn’t even know the way to the MCG without a tour guide.
Since
most of you haven’t attended a single match this year and know nothing
about football, let me give you a few tips – Geelong wears blue, Hawthorn
wears brown, and in case you were wondering, there’ll be no fashions on
the field at half-time, and no, the Lexus Centre across the road is not a
prestige car dealership.
Centre
Square is not only unfair. Centre Square is not only inequitable. Centre
Square is downright un-Australian! And so are all of you! In fact, I bet
you’re all so un-Australian that you all hate the Anzacs, you booed Cathy
Freeman, and you want to cull cute cuddly koalas because one of them once
jumped out in front of your Range Rover on the way to Mount Hotham.
But
it’s not just you who are at fault. I also blame the AFL – those
out-of-touch, opera-loving elitists at AFL headquarters who are responsible
for this unconscionable abomination need to take a good hard look in the
mirror. That is if they can handle the sight of moral and spiritual
bankruptcy staring back at them.
I
also blame the government. Our new Prime Minister has clearly failed his
first test of leadership if he thinks it’s acceptable to allow an event
like this to go ahead without a pre-emptive strike by the SAS. The PM is
doing nothing to ease the squeeze on working families on the bottom rung of
the ladder of opportunity who just want to see their team in the Granny. But
he’d better get his act together and do something about it, or millions of
angry footy fans will do it for him. Revolutions have been started and
governments have been overthrown for lesser outrages than this. And people
ask why we need capital punishment.
So
cut off your silver tails, tear up your fur coats and get fair dinkum. Our
great Australian game is the greatest game in the world – the game of the
people. Not some once-a-year marquee piss-up for an overpaid, over-dressed
pack of passionless corporate cretins who only turn up for the free
chardonnay and then spend the actual game looking about as interested and
excited as a line of Easter Island statues.
So
don’t bother coming across to the MCG this afternoon, because you’re not
welcome. The next train out of Melbourne leaves Richmond station in 10
minutes – so make sure you’re on it. Or, better still, under it.
So
don’t be un-Australian - everyone here in Centre Square can get stuffed!
You know it makes sense. I’m Sam Kekovich.
