Round 5, 2004

 

 

They've Turned.

 

 

There are few phenomena in football as enjoyable - or predictible - as the pleasure of watching Richmond supporters viciously turn on their club at the point in the season when it finally dawns on them that this year is not going to be 1980 revisited. And when it happens, they never accept it gracefully. They turn. And didn't they turn with a vengeance on Friday night:

• the Tiger coaches' box had its windows smashed

• players were spat on as they walked from the ground

• Frawley taunted with wooden spoons at point-blank range (that is, point blank but for the obligitory - and now essential - six man security guard detail)

• Such was their behaviour that even the Premier and the Chief Commissioner of Police have publicly condemned them.

Footballinvective.com's morning walk through the streets of Richmond on Saturday saw row-upon-row of garden supplies trucks queued up along Punt Rd ready to dump more loads of chicken manure at Tigerland. They've Turned. 

 

One interesting point about the picture above is the cameraman. Why would he be wearing a full-length rain coat in an indoor venue? Perhaps it was a sensible precaution by Channel 9, who would not be stupid enough to send any employee into the vicinity of the Richmond race without protection from the torrents of bile, venom, and other bodily fluids, that will inevitably rain down in the event of a Tigers loss.

 

But what about those Crows? It was like a nostalgic romp back to the Cornes era as the Crows turned it on in laconic South Australian style. Johncock and MacGregor even treated us to the lost art of the 'Crow Throw' (copyright A. Jarman), the trademark 'quick hands' handpass. Wayne Carey also took us on a trip down memory lane in the first quarter. Fans at Telstra Dome could have been excused for thinking they were at the MCG circa 1996, or Archer's bathroom circa 2002, such was the Duck's dominance.

 

So next week sees the Crows take on the Cats. The Clash Of The Two Giants Who Had To Rely On Richmond To Get A Win This Year, as Gary Ayres returns to his favourite coach's box.

 

Plus, it also sees the Clash of the Two Biggest Pretenders of the Year - the Hawks and Tiges. A loss would surely see Peter Schwab take over from Frawley as favourite for the title of First Coach Sacked. May I suggest a solution to the coaching problems of each team - they need to swap coaches. The two coaches seem ideally suited to the other team. Consider that Schwab was stupid enough to say that the Hawks would win the flag back in February. Surely he would be the ideal Richmond coach - his pre-season self-delusion about his own team's abilities matches that of Tiger fans perfectly. Frawley would also make the ideal Hawthorn coach - never gets too emotional after a loss, and never gets excited after a win, it's all 'just taking it one week at a time' stuff - just like Yabbie Jeans and John Kennedy back in the days when the Hawks were a serious club.

 

Footballinvective.com believes that Hawthorn is deserving of the title of the 'New Richmond'. Think about it - a previously dominant team whose golden era was within the life-times of many supporters, and whose current personnel still live in its shadow. Each year the club and its supporters get cocky and delusional, thinking they're on the cusp of 'the revival' that will recapture the dominance of the glory days. This year it was Hawthorn's coach in spectacularly delusional style predicting they'll win the flag. The most interesting thing about this is that so many Hawk fans saw his comments as totally unremarkable, as they had also managed to delude themselves to the same ridiculous extent. 'Just look at our list', they say, as if this is self-evidently proof of their future success. Not even this weekend's predictable pumping by the Lions at the Gabbatoir is likely to shake them out of their fairyland world. 

 

Footballinvective.com's tip for the end of the year: Richmond 16th; Hawthorn 15th.