Round 3, 2004

 

 

Some early season musings:

  

How good is the Eagles midfield? The Eagles quartet of Cousins, Kerr, Fletcher and Judd were absolutely heroic, as the Psychopathic Pharmacist (Woosha) would have been pulling his hair out at a team that has absolutely no functional key position players. Gardiner at the moment is breaking down more often than a 3-speed auto EA Falcon, Dean Cox is just that, McDougall is about as mobile as a tranquilised elephant and Jakovich is just too old (notwithstanding classy late goal 40m out on opposite foot). And at the end of the day, what a way for Lloydy to get in some form - he trains on blokes like Trent Carroll, the old discarded Docker.

 

Oh, how Woosha must long for the days of the flawed Eagle tall forward, e.g. Sumich and THAT kicking problem, Cummings and THAT drinking problem, Wilson and THAT age problem, White and THAT knee problem, Gehrig and THAT foot problem, (which, by the way, seemed to miraculously disappear when he moved to Moorabbin), Langdon and THAT psychiatric problem etc, etc.

 

Forget the Eagles-Dons game, the game of the round was the blockbuster at the 'G on Saturday, where the Rooboys did their level best to throw away a game in which they had scored no less than 12 goals to half-time. However, Dean "Junkyard Dog" Laidley almost got sucked in again by Judas Pagan, as Pagan effectively funneled the North thrusts into a packed centre half forward, and then using that as a platform to launch incisive counter-attacks against the North rearguard. In the end, it was probably the Junkyard Dog’s anger, rather than his tactical nous, that pushed the Roos over the line. Fevola was again too good for Shannon Watt, whose defensive frailties might be cruelly exposed in the next three weeks against Sydney (Baz), St. Kilda (Jerry) and Brisbane (Lynch), especially with Psycho Archer out for a couple.

 

Teague and Morrell, satisfyingly, had about as much impact on the game as a prostatic old man pissing on the Ash Wednesday fires. An interesting footnote to the game - both Captain Simpson and Vice-Captain Petrie (both among the Roos' best on the day) both missed easy set shots from 35 metres out in the last quarter as the pressure mounted. Note that Wellsy (clearly a superstar, and cult hero - his tackle on David Rodan against the Tiges in the Bali game last year remains a great memory) with a far more difficult shot, did not. 

 

It's difficult to say where Carlton are at, given they beat Geelong (whoop dee doo) and seem to now get themselves up for North like they do for Essendon games. Stevens and Scotland are big improvements to their personnel however, and with Kouta returning soon they may be back among the living sooner than we all hope. For North, Leigh Colbert, minus one pancreas, is playing the best football of his career and is an early favourite for North B&F although, unlike Alex Ischenko, he is definitely slower than a Bourke Street tram. A footnote to all this (if it wasn't already obvious): it remains one of the eternal wishes of footballinvective.com that Pagan will rue the day he chose to cross to the other side of Flemington Road.

 

A point about Geelong winning the spoon - it won't happen. That same intangible (a curious mix of country pride and a relaxed rural attitude) that prevents Geelong from winning premierships is also the same intangible that will stop them from finishing dead last, so just forget about it. Geelong have not had a superstar since The Great Man, Couch, Bairstow, Buddha and others were put out to pasture and unfortunately, it would seem that playing for Geelong is not a priority for many top players who might become available as free agents. (Rawlings, Brownie, Nick Stevens are all recent examples that come to mind). It is a shame, as footballinvective.com has a soft spot for Geelong. We think the town deserves better than mid-table mediocrity, but it will take some aggressive and probably underhand administration to develop the players necessary for another tilt at 1963 glory.

 

Richmond are woeful - again - and they can't blame Brownie or Kane Johnson. (strange that their only two players with any semblance of class and skill are rejects - speaks volumes of Danny Frawley, who has gone from Wondercoach to Wonderbra in the space of a couple of seasons). For Richmond to succeed they require the following: 

a)     their members to be supplied with a mass prescription for lithium to curb the rampant Bipolar Disorder that runs through their rabid tribe;

b)     a board, any board; 

c)     Kevin Sheedy (ha ha); 

d)     some players for Nathan Brown to play with, rather than just buying him a pub and a Portsea villa; 

e)  a mass purging of the list, including Richo; and 

f)   maybe a second Nathan Brown, so that one can play at full forward and one as ruck rover.

 

Footballinvective.com finds it absolutely amazing that Danny Frawley continues to get a chance as a senior coach. In 240 games at St. Kilda, he managed just 3 finals appearances in 15 seasons ('91 and '92), and was a senior player at a club that saw some monumental ineptitude (and remarkable feats of piss drinking and KFC consumption - and that wasn't just Plugger) during the '80s. The boy from Bungaree (you know, that place just off the Western Freeway on the way to Sovereign Hill) fairly or otherwise, was hailed upon his retirement as an equal to the great full-backs of the game, for example, David Dench (NM) and his 2 premierships, ditto Son of Serge, Langford (Haw) with his lazy 4 - I mean, make up your own mind. 

 

Notwithstanding, off Frawley went, with his winning attitudes clearly entrenched, to revitalise Collingwood after the decay of the late Matthews era. This intrepid journey for all Magpie supporters saw the 'Spud' (probably referring to the contents of Frawley's brain) team up with the greatest coaching genius of the modern era, Tony Shaw, whose game plan was simply to give the ball to Buckley, no matter how incapacitated or outnumbered he was (isn't it funny how Paul Williams is playing his best footy at the Swans these days? hmmm...). That Collingwood won a coveted mahogany ladle and its win-loss ratio over the 3 pathetic Shaw/Frawley years was less than 25% did not deter the clearly manic-depressive Richmond board from signing the great Frawley to the challenge of resurrecting Punt Road to the glory of the Hafey years. 

 

The top 4 finish in 2001, scoring a finals victory against a Carlton side with about as much youthfulness as a Vatican conclave, has now been consigned to history, and ever since it has been an absolute delight to listen to Tiger supporters in 3AW whinge constantly about Richo, Wayne Campbell, Joel Bowden, Darren Gaspar (another superb full-back moulded in the image of his mentor who can't kick, who let Ken McGregor kick 5 goals on him) and a whole heap of other overpaid underachievers the club has signed for years now (apart, of course, from Nathan Brown, who is waiting for 'Plow', his former boss and occasional bumchum, to take the reigns at Tigerland).

 

So, this week, the first coaching casualty in over a year is imminent - Frawley will have to be content with coaching North Ballarat in the VFL this year - if they'll have him.